To Turn You On by J. Aphrodite

Author:J. Aphrodite
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781569808016
Publisher: Barricade Books

20 The Delivery Boy

SINCE JOHN DIED seven months ago, life had become a mechanical passing of time. Nothing was important anymore; you had nothing left to do. But the hours had to be filled. How had twenty-one years passed so quickly? Only when there is a loss does one become aware of how interdependent a husband and wife can be.

Friends tried—and continued to try—to help occupy you. But it all ended by being alone once more... no matter how many weekends spent at a sister-in-law’s home, no matter how many hours passed at concerts, films...

What no one had prepared you for was the physical loss. You found yourself desperate for love. You had no idea how to satisfy this gnawing need. Women of your age had been brought up to think of “touching themselves” as dirty. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do, even if you had the nerve to try.

That morning the same as every day—you’d read the Times from the front-page headlines to the television listings—drank another cup of coffee—anything for a semblance of activity and purpose. The doorbell startled you. Who could that be? But when the voice informed you that the package from the department store had arrived, you recalled the shopping trip a week ago.

As you opened the door a wave of heat almost knocked you down as it rushed into the cool, air-conditioned apartment. The poor fellow stood there, practically drenched in perspiration, holding the package in his hand.

You were signing the receipt when he cleared his throat. “I beg your pardon, but could I bother you for a glass of water?”

You felt almost embarrassed by your hesitation. He hardly seemed the threatening type. But you learn to live by certain rules, and one is never to let a strange man into one’s home.

“Forget it, lady,” he said, both angry and frustrated.

“No, no, please come in,” you replied, somehow concerned about hurting this young man’s feelings. “It’s just that...”

“I know, I know,” he answered with a sigh. “Everyone is so suspicious these days. But it’s really roasting out there. I really would appreciate a drink of water.”

You both stood there awkwardly for another moment. But finally a friendly smile passed between you. You stepped aside to allow him in the apartment.

“This is great. It’s really cool in here,” he sighed. “Sure beats riding around in a de livery truck all day.”

As you showed him into the kitchen, you became aware of your flimsy clothing. You wore only a robe over your sheer night gown. What thoughts you were having! For heaven’s sake. Here was a fellow not much older than your own son and you were concerned that he’d even notice what you were wearing.

You handed him the drink and saw him suddenly flush. His eyes avoided yours. Why? Had he been watching you? You didn’t have a bad figure for a woman your age. Actually you had a pretty good figure for a woman of any age. You’d seen many young girls who would spend years dieting and exercising and never look the way you did.

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